I have this memory of my dad, I was about 11 years old, and the private school I was enrolled at had just received computers. We were the first generation in that school to be taught computing lessons.

I found it boring, really boring; I did not see the practical use of making a cursor in a black screen move a certain amount left or right, up or down. Like why? how was that useful, or fun?

Anyway, my dad acted more like the kid and was all excited, so when he asked me how my first computing class went, and I told him I didn’t like it, he was sad.

Then, my memory takes me to a classroom. I’m sitting in front of a computer. I had my dad by my side and the teacher in front; it was one of those end-of-the-year presentations to show off what you learned… long story short, I could not solve the exercise they asked us to solve.

There was code written on the board in front of me, but because it didn’t come from me, I wasn’t sure and didn’t want to JUST copy it, my dad allowed me to struggle and try several times to solve the exercise on my own but when the time was coming to an end he suggested “follow along what the teacher did, copy the code she wrote, just try”…

He could not convince me.

I didn’t want to copy something I did not understand and felt it again: What was the purpose of just copying something I didn’t understand and did not come from my brain? I ended up being the only one without something to show as “DONE”

This is his mechanical pencil.

When I want to feel my dad I grab it and write with it because I know his hand once touched it.

I mostly use it when I need his help, so I imagine him sitting beside me, in front of my computer and guiding me like he did that time, except now I take his advice: “Just try.”

Try

Just try

Epilogue

DONE is important
DONE has perceived societal value
DONE is a social construct much more important than TRYING, even if it was “copied”
DONE is something

(Perception is reality)